Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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