the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
