haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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