At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
