That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize