From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just invented taco cereal.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
