Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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