Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
