just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
