No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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