Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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