1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize