HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just high enough for therapy.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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