I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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