Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
we should paint friendship bongs
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