shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
smell my finger.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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