Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
