I need to stop coming to work sober
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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