you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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