can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
