I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
