I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
