I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We are two peas in an std pod
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
