I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
