omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
