i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
