dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
