So drunk its hurt
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
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I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
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Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness