I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
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Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
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I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.