my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant