i wish starbucks made bloody marys
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.