Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize