Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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