It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
