I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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