I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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