I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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