if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
