I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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