id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
