Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
