dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
