she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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