i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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