Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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