okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
