i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize