If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
