i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
