Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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