dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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