Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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