I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
