Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Drunk is not a location!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
