Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
