I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
wow bdsm is so cute
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
