i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Are we still banned from the library?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
