I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
