Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
