Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize