I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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