Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
