the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
