Don't you send me to vm
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
