So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he shaved USA in his pubs
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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